i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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