I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
