I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
