Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
