If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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