it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
