wrigley field is MILF paradise
You can't motorboat a personality
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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