Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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