Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
