I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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