I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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