My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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