Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
