its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
