she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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