Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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