Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
