Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
