I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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