i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
