Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
