ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you would pick up someone in the library
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
