So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
