mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
