what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
