I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
