just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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