she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
