You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
As shirtless as possible
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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