Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
