So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
