Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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