And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
