I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
