you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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