My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
