i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
