You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
