Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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