I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
