Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
