Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
