I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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