rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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