You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
