The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
