Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize