Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
