the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My bed smells like the plague
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
