My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
