we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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