I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
