I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
