If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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