I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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